literature

RWBY- White Roses (Part 2)

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Literature Text

Ruby drew closer and closer to the white haired girl standing in front of her. A she got closer, her cheeks began to change into a light shade of red. "H-Hi Weiss!" Ruby said placing her hand on We'ss shoulder. Weiss turned her head to the left, where Ruby was, and noticed that the girl had a bright smile on her face that matched her personality perfectly. "Oh? Hello.." Weiss said, looking to the ground rather than into Ruby's eyes. "What's wrong? Are you feeling alright?" Ruby asked, putting her hand to Weiss' forehead checking her temperature, making sure the girl didn't have a fever. "I feel fine, stop worrying" Weiss said, still looking to the ground. "Well, then what's wrong? You know you can tell me." Ruby said trying to look the girl in the eyes. Weiss just stood there until she finally just started to walk off. 'Weiss?' Ruby asked. She just kept walking. Ruby didn't like people to keep secrets, espicially Weiss, so when Weiss started to walk away, all Ruby could do was be curious. Without thinking, Ruby ran up to Weiss, turned her around, and hugged her as tight as she could. Ruby didn't know what she was thinking, but she surely didn't let go. Weiss was suprised by this, but she didn't let go of Ruby either, all she did was put her head in Ruby's shoulder and cry. Through sobs, Ruby could make out every other word Weiss was trying to say, although it sounded muffled because Weiss was talking into her cloak. She was able to make out the words 'Ruby', 'Sorry', 'No reason to', and 'I Love You'. Ruby couldn't understand whether or not Weiss meant in a friendly way or a more than friends way, but she was happy as long as she was with Weiss. Weiss looked up from Ruby's shoulder, and the first thing she saw was two White Roses in full bloom.  

To Be Continued...

So, you notice that little 'To Be Continued...' at the bottom there? Well yeah i decided I'm either going to make a part 3 or just make a mini series out of it... kinda depends. Well hope you enjoyed

Part 3: pandagirlread.deviantart.com/a…
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Comments6
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bigsexydick's avatar

Good grammar (not something I see on this site to often), good story idea, just need to work on adding more to the flow. Instead of having Ruby run after Weiss, have her watch Weiss leave confused, this will allow for drama/suspense that will keep the readers hooked. For example, since Ruby didn't go after Weiss you can now have a scene or two where Weiss avoids Ruby; Until Ruby being upset and confused by this new behaviour approaches Weiss about it this time being more determined to get answers, but don't let Weiss just give them to her have her try and lie or make up an excuse like:


"Now's not a good time, Ruby I have somewhere I need to be." Weiss sighed before quickly rushing past the redhead.


Then maybe have Ruby follow Weiss but keep her distance until they end up somewhere like the roof or the cliff maybe back at the garden, where Ruby doesn't press for answers but just tries to have some sort of a conversation and so on.


Anyway good story so far look forward to reading more.